I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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