dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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