Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
