I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
