She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Even my vagina gasped.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
