Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
