We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
