I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
