I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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