Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
