Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
