Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I intend to get homeless drunk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
