that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sorry my hands just texted you
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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