I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
