drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I fill condoms, not promises.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
