idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Every concussion has its silver lining
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
