My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
