Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
