your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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