I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i think i have herpe
just one?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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