My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
