yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
