I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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