oh god the rape fog is back!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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