I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
