my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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