yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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