you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
