I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
