you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
