Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
