i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You have to summon your inner elephant
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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