I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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