Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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