I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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