Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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