I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
as a side note pls kill me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
