My underwear smells like fireworks.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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