i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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