I think my vagina is haunted
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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