I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
