Already got asked if we're dating
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
