and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Soap is not a condiment
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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