Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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