You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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