So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
