She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
