I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
