I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
