can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
