you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
