it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
